How do I become more mature as a Christian?
One plants, another waters, but it is God that gives the growth (1 Corinthians 3:5-9). Just like you can't force a child to grow up before their time, it's likewise impossible to 'make' someone become more mature in Christ. The best we can do is to provide a good environment for growth and trust the Spirit to be at work in people's lives. I would like to, however, share some of the things that I have felt contribute to my growth as a Christian and perhaps would be helpful for anyone reading this in their own journey.
Worship/Intimacy/Friendship with God - I have found that deliberately spending regular time just in worship (usually to music or with my guitar) has helped my heart to become more sensitive to the heart of God. By 'leaning in' and cultivating that closeness, intimacy, and friendship with God, through worshipping, I have found it has begun 'training my senses' to distinguish between good and evil. I recognise by my spirit when there is distance between me and the Lord caused by sin and can see things more clearly the way God sees them. I've also become more sensitive to his leading because of this as well. I can 'feel' more clearly when God is asking me to love someone or serve someone who I might not otherwise want to. Overall, this has had a dramatic impact on my character.
Meditating on 1 Corinthians 13 - Maybe I should just say 'meditating on scripture in general' has helped lead me into maturity (and it has). But the reality is that Paul's description of love in chapter 13 of 1st Corinthians has done a ton of heavy lifting in renewing my mind and shaping me to be more like Jesus. I would encourage all Christians to spend time working through verses 4-7 in conversation with the Holy Spirit. At each point, stop and ask the Holy Spirit, “am I patient? Am I kind? Are there areas of my life that I'm living in envy? Are there any ways in which I have been boastful? Are there any relationships that I have where I've been 'self-seeking? Are there wrongs done to me that I've been 'keeping a record of' and held onto unforgiveness?” In my experience this process can be, and should be, done again and again as it tends to penetrate my heart a little further each time.
Community - There was a time when I was reading and studying my way through 1 John and something from the opening chapter really stumped me. John, while talking about fellowship with God and walking in the light, then says that if we do this we will have 'fellowship with one another'. It was a strange thing to me. The church I was a part of didn't really place that much emphasis on community or fellowship. It was all about how well you knew the word. After a rather dramatic shift in a number of areas in my life, I can say that being part of a healthy community of faith has been incredibly important to cultivating the essence of Christian maturity in my life, which is love. They've been there to love and support me through dark times. In that way I've seen love modelled to me. They've been gracious to me when I've been unloving to them. Because of God’s love experienced in community, I've become so much more aware of how my life and actions can impact others, which allows me to repent, grow in Christlikeness and love even more.
To draw out the very essence of what I'm trying to get at is this: maturity as a Christian, at its core, looks like the character of Jesus. That is, learning how to love like God loves. Other things can be good and even helpful. But they aren't the heart of the matter and as you look for people to look up to in the church to model yourself after, make sure you're picking people who look like Jesus. Who aren't just knowledgeable about the bible, or really entertaining /charismatic speakers, but who are humble and full of the love of God.